my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize