Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
