i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
