butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
