The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
