girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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