Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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