During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
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Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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