Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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