Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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