brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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