id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
