It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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