She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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