I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
