I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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