Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Randomize
