my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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