they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
