Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
