I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
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If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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