WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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