I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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