Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize