just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
