we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Are these your boobs on my camera?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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