I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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