lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize