i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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