my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
