We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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