I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
