She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
