dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
