In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
