You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
