none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
