Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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