Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
