was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sober January is a disaster.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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