Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
