It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm really busy with my period
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