people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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