The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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