Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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