I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
