I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize