The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
do herpes really smell.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
