please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
