Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
