You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
