M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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