I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's always time for handjobs
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
