im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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