Already got asked if we're dating
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
