4 words: hood of his car
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
