Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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