Sponge bath it is.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
