Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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