yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
