I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
