god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
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I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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