Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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