Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
