We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
