She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
